Do you find RUOK day triggering?
I posted today about why I was silent on RUOK day. And I got an overwhelming response of people who agreed with me.
Before I go any further, I want to say that I get it. I get the message and I believe it's important to encourage people to ask others if they're okay. I'm not slamming RUOK day at all, or anyone in particular. But these are just some questions I want you to ask yourself. I feel like more thought needs to go into peoples response to RUOK day rather than just sharing about it. Remember what it's actually encouraging. Remember the core of the message.
You see yesterday my instagram was absolutely filled with people posting about the message - but to me, honestly, it felt empty. I didn't see the people posting. Rather, I saw the people who weren't posting. I saw them silenced from disappointment.
If you posted about RUOK day, ask yourself.. have you actually taken the time to check in on someone recently? Or has someone taken the time to check in on you recently? I think we need to stop blindly posting and truly take a step back and reevaluate.
I find that on RUOK day you get 2 different types of people that aren't okay.
You have those that don't post at all, and they wait to be disappointed that no one has checked in. Or they post and hope someone sparks a conversation.
But did you notice them?
It's so easy to share something onto your story. But I want people to find true connection again in conversation. I want to bring the message back to the core, and encourage action. Rather than just putting on a front.
Here is my call to action:
1. Message your friends privately, or catch up with them for coffee and ask them, genuinely, if they're okay. AND THEN LISTEN.
2. And if you're not okay, I'd also like to call you to action, to reach out to your most trusted friends, and set up a coffee date, or flick them a message to tell them. Have that overdue conversation.
If not now, when?
Don't wait until it's too late.
All the people that I know struggle. I can almost guarantee didn't receive a message personally, asking if they were okay. And I can sadly say that maybe, they haven't been asked for months now. I think that may actually be the case for a lot of us. If I try to think back to the last time I was asked RUOK... I couldn't tell you. And do you know how much I've not been okay this year? I know I'm not the only one. We need to reach out more. On both asking RUOK and admitting when we're not.
I hear the silent screams, because I've been the one drowning in my mind before. So right now, If you're not okay, I give you permission, to not be okay, and to admit that to both yourself and please message someone you love.
RUOK day can be triggering for some. And I want to let you know, I see you, I stand with you. Let's make the message, more than just content to share.
love,
liz x