There's been a few times where I've caught myself struggling again in a place of exhaustion. And now it's time to get vulnerable.
Let me tell you about one of the biggest lessons I've learnt over the past few years, and am still learning.
I've always said how important rest is, but this week has been a huge slap in the face of hypocrisy for me.
Tonight I crashed, and I crashed hard. It wasn't even anything major that got to me, it was just a few small things that all added up and resulted in me getting home and just curling up under my rugs and crying for a good hour, before I got up, made myself a healthy smoothie, jumped in the shower and then went about the rest of my afternoon. And I'll be honest, the bad day kept going, and I cried once again when I got home to Mark. But hey, if we don't rest, we crash. And if we crash we need to know that it's more than okay to feel, it's more than okay to cry.
And that's exactly what I did.
So back to the beginning of this year. 2017 has honestly left me run dry. As have years before but this year has been a clean balance between good and bad.
So much good has happened, I started working 2 jobs I love, I started my business, I got programs running for The Ladybird Movement, Mark and I celebrated 2 years together and so on.. but it's also been filled with bad, like leaving a comfortable job, struggling financial every single day, being given a huge gift and then losing it again without any further explanation, day in day out I'm not sure if I'll make it to work cos my car is on empty and I haven't been eating lunch most days cos I can't afford it, and my car broke down and I'm paying that off now too, and on top of it all I had friendships that I've managed to break off and that left me feeling pretty lonely again.
This week has really shown me just how dry I've become, all week my car has been on empty while I watch my "10kms to empty" drop I've also watched my bank account waiting for it to rise above $1.44, my emotions are high and comments by people are hitting me harder than they usually would.
And that's, why I crashed.
And that's the importance of Rest.
"You can't pour from an empty cup"
Because you need to rest to realise just why the things that add up are there, I'm working my butt of to get Design Yourself Beautiful off of the ground, and I know that it'll get there eventually. It's just hard for now.
You aren't here to waste away working a job you hate, surrounded by people who don't appreciate you and dreams just remaining dreams.
You are here for so much more. Your dreams were given to you so that you may make them into a reality, into YOUR reality. Following your dreams is definitely not an easy path, but it's so worth it. What you do each day should be something that you're constantly excited to do, and its so important that each day you take a step towards your goals! And every now and then give yourself a day.
I went into 2017 working a part time job that although I loved the work and the people I worked with, it was only just paying the bills and it wasn't what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. The first year there I was learning so much and I loved the community however after a year and a half there I decided I was done with being comfortable with being uncomfortable.
So just like that I resigned,
with absolutely no plan whatsoever,
just trust in that "whatever will be will be".
And within that last week at my job I received a call about 2 jobs, and so began the job balancing act!
I know that a lot of people struggle finding work nowadays and I am still so mindblown by how quick my work days changed.
I am now working at 3 small businesses helping out a few hours a week here and there. All of this is also on the side of running The Ladybird Movement and Design Yourself Beautiful as well as trying to complete my Youth Work course.
I went from working 3-4 days to working 5-6 days. Now you may think that I am now busier and more exhausted than before, and that I may be more comfortable financially too..... But thats not the case at all! I come home from work excited and full of energy to do more creative things and push into TLM & DYB. I have LOVED working in a different store and different suburb each day, and working alongside different people and different paces has been refreshing too! This lifestyle although a little bit crazy is definitely much more suited to me. I have more energy and time to put into TLM and DYB like I had always dreamed!
I was sick of making the most important things to me the minimal priority.
But even through making changes like I did, you still need to remember to rest and take a day for yourself.
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I wrote all this down a few weeks ago but decided not to post it then because I knew I'd want to add more when I was in a more refreshed state. When I wrote this I struggled between the balance of resting and my new lifestyle. Over the last few weeks I feel like I have managed to find that balance, I give myself a day each week where I am not allowed to work at all and just have to spend time with myself, my dogs, Mark and friends. Friendship and Relationships are another one of those things that are of high importance and you can't neglect that. I was pushing too far into all the things I'm doing that I was becoming too busy for the important people in my life and that's when I felt the loneliness and exhaustion hit, I felt like I didn't have time or energy for them and I needed to push into life more, when it really was just that I needed to take a step back and slow down a little bit.
Listen to your body, listen to the way you think and feel about what you do each day. Rest may mean taking a day to yourself here and there, naps, good food, and Netflix! or it may mean changing that hectic nonstop job over to something with a different pace! Or it may even be to take a big holiday each year!
In whatever way suits you, you need to remember that REST is important for your health (both physically and mentally) and for your future endeavours.
Each day is an opportunity to take one step closer to your dreams, no matter how big or small that step is. Take it today.
This blog is reminder not only to others but to myself because even I forget it at times.. that great things happen when you push yourself but don't push yourself too far.
love,
liz x