Here we are! My first official day full time in my business. It's been such a long journey to feel ready for this! And if I'm honest; in many ways, I'm still not.
As you can imagine, it's an inspiring situation to be in. So many businesses built from the ground up with so much joy and tears put into it all. It's beautiful to be a small part of that.
I've always known I would eventually make the decision to make this leap for myself. But never felt truly ready for it. Let's be real, That imposter syndrome is a b*tch! But I'm learning to shut down that voice.
I tried to ignore the dreams because there was so much going on the last couple years in both the world and my personal life. It certainly didn't make sense to go full time right now and I didn’t go into this year thinking I would. But for months, it was almost like someone was pushing me to make big change.
The decision started when I felt my mental health slipping. I'll be honest, I reached almost breaking point before I considered going full time.
There was one weekend that I remember in particular, I had a few big social events planned that I had been so excited for. When the time arrived, I found myself curled up at home overwhelmed and crying, I was messaging my friends to cancel our plans.
In those moments I knew I wasn't holding together any more. I couldn't even fool myself.
Mark sat down with me and talked me into going, and I'm so grateful he did. He knew what I needed more than I did. He knew I needed my community, I needed the fresh air, the change of pace and the break away from routine. He knew I'd find some clarity in all of that.
We drove out of Perth for our weekend away - I started crying and spoke out loud what I had been too scared to admit. The words I'm always telling everyone else to speak out but had fooled myself into staying quiet.
"I'm not doing okay."
It wasn't as if anything in particular was bad, everything in life was okay, but that's just it. I was just okay, and I wasn't ready to accept okay as my normal when I spent so many years focussing on being happy, grateful and content!
When we arrived, I didn't even have to talk to anyone about what was going on in my head - Even I didn't know the extent of it. But being surrounded by my friends was enough to remind me that I was going to be okay. I just needed to change some things. It was on the drive home that I cried some more and we talked about the possibility of me going full-time and whether we could make it work. That next week, I resigned from my main job. A month later, here we are!
What a flipping journey!
It was sad resigning, I had been at that job for 3.5 years, and if you know me, you know that's a huge deal for me to stay somewhere for more than a year! It was a great job and I feel like I was there for so many monumental things for them. I felt apart of the team.
Before I had sent my notice through I was still unsure if it was the right decision to leave, but as soon as I sent through my resignation - I felt a weight lift. It was time.
For the past month I have spent so much time alone, processing and preparing for the next chapter. I have a beautiful Spring launch all in process ready to announce in the coming days! I've spent some time journaling, meditating, taking myself out for coffee and hiking amongst the wildflowers. I’ve sat and chatted with friends, I’ve cried and I’ve celebrated. I’ve sat in gratefulness for the journey here and the journey ahead. all of this time has reminded me of all the things that set my soul on fire.
The fact that my first day full time on my own is also the first day of Spring, was totally unintentional. But beyond fitting. So here goes, to my next chapter!
I want to say a huge thank you to all the small businesses who I have worked alongside, for the inspiration, community and encouragement that you have helped me build. I feel courageous enough to take on this next journey because of the paths that you have paved for yourselves!
I also want to thank all of my beautiful friends and family, for all of the listening, patience, encouragement and understanding you've given me this year. I wouldn't be able to take this step without you alongside me.
This year was another example of the Breakdown to Breakthrough. Which I can now mention is part of the message behind our Spring Launch! Release Dates to be announced in the next week!
Thank you everyone who has supported my journey thus far. I can’t express how grateful I am for you all.
Time to bring the vision to reality!
love,
liz x